The phrase “behavior is communication” was invented in response to a set of ideas, a counter to them. One of these ideas is that children’s inconvenient or strange or annoying behavior is a sign of some character flaw in the child. That they’re doing it to defy or annoy or enrage the adult. Another idea … Read more
Recently I had an OT session with a child who I’ve known for many years. They were unusually irritable and on-edge, and at one point they were so frustrated with what they were trying to do that they started to cry. I asked if they needed help. They said, “STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS!” I could … Read more
People of all ages sometimes seek out crying when they need it, because crying can be very healing and stress-relieving. Adults might put on a sad movie, listen to music that holds a lot of meaning for them, or look through old photos or keepsakes to make themselves cry. Some children might also seek out … Read more
Somebody asked, “How can I tell if my child’s reaction to some sensory input is ‘just toddler behavior’ or a sign of some sensory processing difference?” That’s a very good question. And to some extent, if it feels like so strong of a reaction or so big of an upset that it’s dysfunctional, or it’s … Read more
I recently appeared on the podcast Dauntless Grace to talk about trauma, play, reparenting ourselves, and that infamous consequences post. You can listen to the interview on their website, Dauntless Grace. It’s also available on iTunes here, and on Spotify here. If you’d rather read rather than listen, the transcript is available here.
I shared this image, with the following caption, for the first time two years ago: Getting my therapy gym room ready for the new school year! I put up this sign this year… “In Action Room, we ALL respect ‘No’.” Grown-ups and kids. If a grown-up tells a child “No, we can’t do that,” then … Read more
This post has an audio and video recorded version for those who prefer to learn by hearing rather than by reading. Scroll to the bottom for the video of me reading it. I have a memory from very young in my childhood, that I can’t remember whether it was all just a thought process I … Read more
I had the chance to speak with Heather, the host of That Early Childhood Nerd, about the consequences post that I wrote which became somewhat infamous on Facebook very quickly. You can listen to the interview on her website, That Early Childhood Nerd, here. It’s also available on iTunes here, and on Spotify here. If … Read more
This post has an audio and video recorded version for those who prefer to learn by hearing rather than by reading. Scroll to the bottom for the video of me reading it. I think we would actually all be fine if we would drop the word “consequences” from our vocabularies entirely. I’d certainly prefer it … Read more
A post originally from two years ago, of a time when I “got it right” with playfulness, and with seeing “misbehavior” as a plea for playfulness. *** My 2yo and I were sitting at the kids’ dinner table. My 3.5yo always has a hard time with dinner. He’s groggy from his nap and his blood … Read more