Immediate obedience is a fear response. There isn’t immediate obedience when you’re committed to parenting your children without making them afraid of you. Sometimes your kid just needs a second to process what you asked them. They’re not afraid of you, so they don’t fearfully freeze while they process, or override their logic brain that … Read more
Imagine how unsafe you would have to feel before you would punch somebody. Imagine how threatened you would have to feel before you would intentionally knock things over and run away. Imagine how distressed you would have to be to throw yourself to the floor rather than go somewhere. Really imagine it. Really imagine your … Read more
The phrase “behavior is communication” was invented in response to a set of ideas, a counter to them. One of these ideas is that children’s inconvenient or strange or annoying behavior is a sign of some character flaw in the child. That they’re doing it to defy or annoy or enrage the adult. Another idea … Read more
I had an epiphany recently while checking out at the store. I think sometimes parents are to their children, what self checkout machines at stores are to adults. 😂 “PLACE YOUR ITEM IN THE BAG.” “PLEASE SCAN YOUR ITEM.” “PLEASE WAIT. HELP IS ON THE WAY.” “AWAYS REMEMBER TO SCAN YOUR ITEM BEFORE PLACING IT … Read more
There are times in my life when I start feeling my own internal “defiance” increase—though I don’t usually call it by that word. I start feeling resistant to having to answer people about the decisions I’m making. I bristle against having to respond to demands. I start feeling “touched out” by my kids touching my … Read more