A year ago, my children, who were 5 and 6 at the time, had similar-aged friends come over to the house. The four of them all played together, running around the house and roughhousing. One friend didn’t really get physically hurt, but the play got too rough and they were emotionally a little overwhelmed and … Read more
There have been quite a lot of times in my adult life when I’ve needed to talk to my husband about something but been unable to speak about it. Some of those times, the words have just lived inside of me. I think about them over and over, or maybe even make plans to say … Read more
Three scenarios about my children (5 and 4) (fictionalized, but compiled from real scenarios) and the way that parenting shifts based on what actually happens…instead of what I might imagine will happen. *** Summer: I’m a scary monster and you run away from me. Apollo: OK. AAAAH!!!!! Scary monster! Summer: (super offended) NO! I’m not a … Read more
The phrase “behavior is communication” was invented in response to a set of ideas, a counter to them. One of these ideas is that children’s inconvenient or strange or annoying behavior is a sign of some character flaw in the child. That they’re doing it to defy or annoy or enrage the adult. Another idea … Read more
Routines helped this lil guy make sense of an often nonsensical world around him. And especially on the first week of school, he needed some help making sense of everything. “Change diaper” was a routine he knew. Pull down pants, take diaper off, put new diaper on, pull up pants. That would have worked wonderfully … Read more
There are probably a hundred things I love about the sisterly relationship between Bluey and Bingo. The show does such an incredible job at honoring their different personalities as well as their different stages of development (since they’re supposed to be 4 and 6 years old). The one I’m thinking about today, though, is the … Read more
Recently, my family and I visited a sandy playground, and it reminded me of this story about myself and sensory processing. My son was maybe 18 months old, and he was playing on a playground where the ground was hard rubber. Excellent. All was well. Then he realized that across a little strip of grass … Read more
If my partner and I were chatting and he said “Ughhh, I’m so stressed out by writing this dissertation, I could just throw my computer out the window!” I wouldn’t say, “Well, you aren’t allowed to throw your computer out the window.” I might say, “I know. I know it’s maddening.” If my boss and … Read more
A story of mediating conflict between young siblings, rather than solving it for them. My then-2yo “Summer” was lying on the ground in the middle of the living room floor, playing with toys underneath her blanket like a tent. My then-4yo “Apollo” was driving toy cars around. I was in the kitchen, which is adjacent … Read more
I have found that, speaking in large generalities, adults rarely understand why kids are doing what they’re doing. This is due to a combination of things. Part of it is because kids operate according to kid logic, and sometimes kid logic can be absolutely bonkers. Part of it is because adults are really likely to … Read more