The Occuplaytional Therapist 
In response to my assertion that kids are inevitably doing the best that they can do, someone will almost always ask a question about a child who is vehemently endorsing the opposite. A child who is angry and making sure everybody around them knows it. A child who might be regularly yelling and screaming exact … Read more
In Toy Story 5, there’s a part where Jessie says, “That’s not playing, that’s just a game!”, referring to a game that she was greatly enjoying involving jumping around and stomping her feet on buttons as they lit up. When this is met with confusion by another toy, she demonstrates: what she means by “playing” … Read more
I wrote a couple of weeks ago about silly-dysregulation for the first time on here. It’s the winter school holidays here in Australia, and it turns out that same silly-dysregulation was kind of the theme of the break. The pattern would be heralded by a grating new stim of hoarse shrieking and then escalate into … Read more
We ran an errand today, and my kids, 7 and 6, had a lovely cheerful moment on the way there. “Summer, you have so many ideas because you have a DHD brain,” my son Apollo enthused, somewhat out of nowhere, with his iteration of the vocabulary we’ve been explaining and discussing over and over … Read more
“She’s really shy,” you find yourself saying. “She’s afraid to go and play with the other kids. When we go to the playground she’s anxious about leaving me.” She’s three. And you just want to support her. And, if pressed to explain what you mean by “support”, you might say: you just want her to … Read more
I wrote recently about preemptive co-regulation with my child — when I stepped in to help regulate escalating emotions and energy back down before a meltdown had even started. Here’s another example. I’m gonna be slightly technical here and say that this was an example of me defusing silly-dysregulation. I have loads of writing on … Read more
My kid woke up disgruntled. There wasn’t really any discernible reason for it. I’m not identifying which kid because honestly, I swear they take turns doing this. I had stayed up late the night before, and I knew I was on “wake up” duty in the morning. (Rev. Dr. Mr. TOPT and I usually swap … Read more
Let’s imagine a toddler who tries to pull the glasses off of mom’s face. The purpose of punishing the child (hitting or flicking them, yelling a big scary “no”, putting them in time-out isolated from others, etc) would be to make it unequivocally clear that the grownup is more powerful than the child, and can … Read more
Your child might recognize the inherent power imbalance in society—that adults are treated as superior to and better than kids—and find that to be unjust, and not have a diagnosis of PDA. Please hear what I’m saying. I’m not trying to make the gate smaller or the opening narrower or let fewer people in. I’m … Read more
I would guess that the #1 question that I’m asked — the top situation that people want resources for — is what to do when your child has already tilted past the threshold of 100% dysregulation and is melting down, right now. I’ve answered that one in my post called Survive about as well … Read more