Imagine that you sit down to watch a movie. You pop yourself a bowl of popcorn to go with it…maybe your favorite toppings, whether salt and butter or marshmallow or Parmesan cheese or something else…you pick up the remote, hit play, and get ready to watch the movie while eating your popcorn. Then somebody takes … Read more
A friend shared a story with me, and with their permission, I’m sharing it here. Their child was 5 years old and in their class at school, they had a clip behavior chart like many schools have. The clip chart was space/sky themed to be cute. Everybody started on a star, and if they “behaved … Read more
I recently appeared on the podcast Dauntless Grace to talk about trauma, play, reparenting ourselves, and that infamous consequences post. You can listen to the interview on their website, Dauntless Grace. It’s also available on iTunes here, and on Spotify here. If you’d rather read rather than listen, the transcript is available here.
I had the chance to speak with Heather, the host of That Early Childhood Nerd, about the consequences post that I wrote which became somewhat infamous on Facebook very quickly. You can listen to the interview on her website, That Early Childhood Nerd, here. It’s also available on iTunes here, and on Spotify here. If … Read more
I knew that among the play invitations that I had available at camp*, that I would want to have one more structured, writing-based invitation every day. I wanted this for a variety of reasons: there were several older kids who were going to be coming to camp; writing and literacy is an avenue to so … Read more
This post has an audio and video recorded version for those who prefer to learn by hearing rather than by reading. Scroll to the bottom for the video of me reading it. I think we would actually all be fine if we would drop the word “consequences” from our vocabularies entirely. I’d certainly prefer it … Read more
I sat in on a behavior plan meeting one time where the adults were somewhat baffled. All the “usual tricks” hadn’t worked for the child: reward charts, earning privileges, stickers, etc. Finally what they agreed as a team to put into the behavior plan was that this child would respond best if given “unconditional positive … Read more
(From the archives of my own personal FB page, a story from when I was an early therapist. I would do some things differently now, but I still appreciated the story.) *** I have a kid who I see every week at the same time. He’s usually working on the same in-class spelling worksheet, and … Read more
I still catch myself in these ways of thinking. I still catch myself thinking old thoughts with my kids. “If I get playful right now, he’s going to learn to be ‘difficult’ whenever he wants me to play with him.” “If I don’t make her regret doing that, then she’s going to end up doing … Read more
Two people have asked me questions about reward charts in the last week or so, so that seemed like a reasonable question to answer next. The reason for both of them asking it was because I put “reward charts” — i.e., you do x, you get a sticker on your chart (and often when you … Read more