In Toy Story 5, there’s a part where Jessie says, “That’s not playing, that’s just a game!”, referring to a game that she was greatly enjoying involving jumping around and stomping her feet on buttons as they lit up. When this is met with confusion by another toy, she demonstrates: what she means by “playing” … Read more
“She’s really shy,” you find yourself saying. “She’s afraid to go and play with the other kids. When we go to the playground she’s anxious about leaving me.” She’s three. And you just want to support her. And, if pressed to explain what you mean by “support”, you might say: you just want her to … Read more
I remember the first time I moved houses in my adult life. We called some older, adultier friends over to help us move. I don’t remember all the specifics, but I know one of them asked us if we were totally packed and ready, and I confirmed that yeah, we just needed help grabbing stuff … Read more
Pretty much the entire public school system in Western society (which is the only school system I have personal experience with, hence my qualifier) is rooted in: Adults decide when kids need to know stuff. Adults tell the kids the stuff. Adults test to see if the kids retained the stuff. Adults try to enforce/motivate … Read more
Sometimes when my kids are playing, one of them plays too rough or in a different way than the other one wanted them to. Sometimes they will appeal to me for intervention: “I said stop and he’s not stopping!” More often, lately, though, the dynamics have been shifting. In their younger years, I would jump … Read more
How is driving on the opposite side of the road like your kid hitting their sibling? *** My family recently moved to a new country. Now I’m driving on the right side of the car and the left side of the road, instead of the left side of the car and the right side of … Read more
Last year, when I was writing my book, I was trying to find a source and got sidetracked reading a bunch of stuff about moral development in children (as one does) and I was just cracking up reading it because it was like this study about children age 4-8 and the researchers showed them pictures … Read more
Do you understand the difference between wishes, limits, and boundaries? If you find yourself saying the word “want” or “need”, a lot of times you are expressing a value, a wish, or a feeling. Same with the word “let”, as in “they won’t let me…” Limits are a decision that you are enforcing about the … Read more
I have a guessing game called, “Which of these ‘behaviors’ is actually a sign of developmentally appropriate schema play in toddlers and babies?” (if you don’t know what schema play is, I’ll explain in just a sec 😉 ) Okay, so here are your options: a) Throwing toys, even after the adult has told the … Read more
During one of the recent snow days home, my kids were getting really sick of being cooped up inside and struggling to be able to play with one another successfully. They both needed more space than was available inside, and they were both sick of trying to play bundled up in the snow, and the … Read more