Wishes, Limits, & Boundaries

Do you understand the difference between wishes, limits, and boundaries? If you find yourself saying the word “want” or “need”, a lot of times you are expressing a value, a wish, or a feeling. Same with the word “let”, as in “they won’t let me…” Limits are a decision that you are enforcing about the … Read more

Ten Ways – Toothbrushing

Ten things I could’ve done when my kid didn’t want to brush her teeth… Nonverbal cue: Set the toothbrush down next to my kid. Toothpaste already loaded. Wordlessly. Offer alternatives: Mouthwash, floss, a different flavor of toothpaste… Playful: Announce that I see something silly in my kid’s mouth, and how I need to get it … Read more

Immediate Obedience

Immediate obedience is a fear response. There isn’t immediate obedience when you’re committed to parenting your children without making them afraid of you. Sometimes your kid just needs a second to process what you asked them. They’re not afraid of you, so they don’t fearfully freeze while they process, or override their logic brain that … Read more

Hair Washing

My kids are 6 and 4. Both of them have gorgeous tight-coily-textured hair and both of them have (different) sensory processing sensitivities. For the first time in our family’s entire life I successfully washed and cared for everybody’s hair thoroughly in one weekend — even less than that, it only took a few hours! Using … Read more

Sensory Mismatch Conclusion

The last thing that I wanted you to know this week, as I wrap up my talks about sensory mismatch (the other four posts are here: one, two, three, four), is that kids will typically become better at managing this mismatch themselves over time, so you don’t have to feel like this will take active … Read more

Sensory Mismatch Key: Need Isn’t Behavior

In my last post, I shared the first tool for dealing with sensory mismatch. Today I’ll share another tool. Just like in the last post, some of the things I say in this post may be tricky to understand if you haven’t read any of my past posts about sensory processing or some of the … Read more

Sensory Mismatch Key: Escape

I have had lots of questions from people about “sensory mismatch” lately. Sensory mismatch is my phrase for it when two (or more) people in the same environment (like home, a classroom, etc) have different sensory processing styles, AND those different processing styles are causing a clash of some kind. I recently gave a whole … Read more

“Why Did You…?”

It’s really understandable why adults ask children “Why did you do that?” After all, children are constantly doing things that seem honestly incomprehensible if not outright bonkers. An interesting side note is that in my job role, I am often assigned to stand in a set place and watch a particular child for a long … Read more

We Are All Part of the Team

A friend shared a story with me, and with their permission, I’m sharing it here. Their child was 5 years old and in their class at school, they had a clip behavior chart like many schools have. The clip chart was space/sky themed to be cute. Everybody started on a star, and if they “behaved … Read more

Naming the Subtext

This post has an audio and video recorded version for those who prefer to learn by hearing rather than by reading. Scroll to the bottom for the video of me reading it. You know, one thing that I notice is a pattern with most adults (me included) is that they might notice patterns with their … Read more