Ten things I could’ve done when my kid didn’t want to brush her teeth… Nonverbal cue: Set the toothbrush down next to my kid. Toothpaste already loaded. Wordlessly. Offer alternatives: Mouthwash, floss, a different flavor of toothpaste… Playful: Announce that I see something silly in my kid’s mouth, and how I need to get it … Read more
One skill that has been really helping me in these past few weeks has been the skill of being able to describe to myself in my head, in detail, what feels bodily wrong when things feel wrong. This is a relatively new skill for me. For the majority of my life, if I felt bad, … Read more
When something uncomfortable—like something for medical health and safety—has to happen for a child, it’s often adults’ instinct to try to do it as fast as possible, to get it over with. (After all, it would be kind of barbaric to extend an uncomfortable or painful experience when it could be sped up and then … Read more
In adulthood, I am actively working on increasing my own interoception (sense of my inner body)…on listening to my body and what it needs. More often than not, I used to ignore my body telling me that it is hungry. Or telling me that it needs to go to the bathroom. Or telling me that … Read more
I recently appeared on the podcast Dauntless Grace to talk about trauma, play, reparenting ourselves, and that infamous consequences post. You can listen to the interview on their website, Dauntless Grace. It’s also available on iTunes here, and on Spotify here. If you’d rather read rather than listen, the transcript is available here.
From when I was fifteen onwards, my job in the family was to cook dinner for us either five or six nights a week depending on if we were going out to eat, picked up takeout/takeaway, etc. I was pleased with this job, because my previous job had been washing the dishes and I really … Read more
Today’s post needs a content warning for religious trauma and triggery religious language as well as a description of lots of big childhood fears. I also feel like I want to re-emphasize the disclaimer that I made on Wednesday and say again, as emphatically as humanly possible, that this is entirely intended as a personal … Read more
I plan to write some posts for the next week about what might be called “ADLs” in occupational therapist jargon. Activities of daily living. Think about the things you generally have to do everyday to survive (or maybe every couple of days). For me, this week, I plan to write about eating, sleeping, cooking, showering/bathing/hygiene. … Read more
This post has an audio and video recorded version for those who prefer to learn by hearing rather than by reading. Scroll to the bottom for the video of me reading it. Recently, a parent asked this question in the comments of one of my posts: “Do you have any hints on how to get … Read more
“They’re actually not playing dangerously.” I tell this to my own body. My own nervous system. My own fight-or-flight response. Because of the way the noise feels. It pounds against my ears. It sends jolts down my skin. What I want to do is hide. What I want to do is cry. What I want … Read more