“She’s really shy,” you find yourself saying. “She’s afraid to go and play with the other kids. When we go to the playground she’s anxious about leaving me.” She’s three. And you just want to support her. And, if pressed to explain what you mean by “support”, you might say: you just want her to … Read more
Let’s imagine a toddler who tries to pull the glasses off of mom’s face. The purpose of punishing the child (hitting or flicking them, yelling a big scary “no”, putting them in time-out isolated from others, etc) would be to make it unequivocally clear that the grownup is more powerful than the child, and can … Read more
I was on my way to pick up my kids from school that day when I had an unusual impulse that I really wanted to just like, hang out with them, outside of the patterns of our normal everyday life. I thought maybe going to McDonald’s and going inside and sitting down at the restaurant … Read more
During one of the recent snow days home, my kids were getting really sick of being cooped up inside and struggling to be able to play with one another successfully. They both needed more space than was available inside, and they were both sick of trying to play bundled up in the snow, and the … Read more
We came back from the usual 2-week holiday break, and then had school cancelled for an entire week due to snow and road conditions. So, when my kids went back to school yesterday (with a 2 hour delayed start, on top of everything) for the first time in 23 days, I knew it was going … Read more
We have been through some wild things as a family in our lives, but none of them have strained us as thoroughly as these past few weeks. They’ve been the hardest for our family’s well-being, the most difficult to parent, and the worst my mental health has been in a long time. I’ve been struggling … Read more
I love the movie Strange World. It’s charming, compelling, visually gorgeous, and doesn’t get enough hype. It was my kids’ favorite for awhile like a year ago, but we hadn’t watched it since. I put it on while I needed to keep them in one place with me for awhile but couldn’t move much after … Read more
Immediate obedience is a fear response. There isn’t immediate obedience when you’re committed to parenting your children without making them afraid of you. Sometimes your kid just needs a second to process what you asked them. They’re not afraid of you, so they don’t fearfully freeze while they process, or override their logic brain that … Read more
My son was feeling a little bit “out of whack” (that’s usually the least-jargony way I can describe the word “dysregulated”). He was picking at everyone in the family, emotionally, verbally. He pushed his sister, who was watching a show, far enough for her to lash out at him physically, to hit him and push … Read more
It’s really understandable why adults ask children “Why did you do that?” After all, children are constantly doing things that seem honestly incomprehensible if not outright bonkers. An interesting side note is that in my job role, I am often assigned to stand in a set place and watch a particular child for a long … Read more