I’ve recently seen some confusion about how empathy develops in children. Someone might say, “You can’t expect children to start showing empathy or take someone else’s perspective until they’re 7+”, and someone else might argue, “But toddlers and even babies absolutely seem like they’re being empathetic—so we can expect it of them.” The truth is … Read more
Did you know that yelling is, from a sensory perspective, a very regulating thing to do? That might sound weird and it might make your brain jump to conclusions that aren’t the same as exactly what I’m saying. But think about it for a moment, from a mental perspective of thinking of the mechanics of … Read more
Recently I had an OT session with a child who I’ve known for many years. They were unusually irritable and on-edge, and at one point they were so frustrated with what they were trying to do that they started to cry. I asked if they needed help. They said, “STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS!” I could … Read more
Sometimes I get stuck in awkward situations with other adults where the other adult feels like they need to correct a child in some way that feels wrong to me. It might be exacerbated by my presence — like, for example, at a park when a parent is over-correcting what their kid is doing because … Read more
This post has an audio and video recorded version for those who prefer to learn by hearing rather than by reading. Scroll to the bottom for the video of me reading it. You know, one thing that I notice is a pattern with most adults (me included) is that they might notice patterns with their … Read more
This quote sums up everything I’ve ever tried to say about “behavior” and does it so perfectly succinctly in four sentences. What’s the best-case scenario? That instead of wanting to get revenge on children for the ways they act that inconvenience, bother, or annoy us, we start to soften. We start to see them empathetically. … Read more
If my partner and I were chatting and he said “Ughhh, I’m so stressed out by writing this dissertation, I could just throw my computer out the window!” I wouldn’t say, “Well, you aren’t allowed to throw your computer out the window.” I might say, “I know. I know it’s maddening.” If my boss and … Read more
There is a common misconception that people with autism don’t show empathy, or don’t feel empathy, or cannot take on the perspective of someone else. The three categories given in the DSM-5 definition of autism, all of which are required to be met in order for a person to receive that diagnosis, cover (1) social-emotional … Read more
This Tumblr post feels so much like the exact heart of occupational therapy. And maybe that’s why I feel like it overlaps so hard with my parenting style…because I’m also on a mission to just try to instill these things in the next generation from the beginning, instead of having to re-teach them again as … Read more
On my Facebook page, I asked adults to share something that their child had been doing that was frustrating or upsetting to them. I then invited people in the comments (myself included) to respond, from the perspective of the child…what the child might be thinking or learning or trying or not-trying and how it’s getting … Read more