During one of the recent snow days home, my kids were getting really sick of being cooped up inside and struggling to be able to play with one another successfully. They both needed more space than was available inside, and they were both sick of trying to play bundled up in the snow, and the … Read more
Ten things I could’ve done when my kid didn’t want to brush her teeth… Nonverbal cue: Set the toothbrush down next to my kid. Toothpaste already loaded. Wordlessly. Offer alternatives: Mouthwash, floss, a different flavor of toothpaste… Playful: Announce that I see something silly in my kid’s mouth, and how I need to get it … Read more
We have been using the park after school as a good strategy for getting/staying regulated. Just going and camping out with a meal for a few hours, til it’s close to bedtime. But on this particular day, everybody was too dysregulated for that to even work, or be safe. We came home instead. The kids played … Read more
“We have to leave the park in five minutes.” “How about six?” “You need to work on this for ten minutes.” “No, I choose nine!” What do you say next? Do you dig your heels in? Fight for that sixty seconds? That sixty grumpy, angry, dysregulated seconds, that might just poison the whole thing? I … Read more
Some adults get alarmed when they hear children using language that sounds “violent” or involves themes of morality, such as “good guys” and “bad guys”. They may want to explain to the child that morality is more complicated than that — that people aren’t inherently “good” or “bad”, but that people make choices. Or they … Read more
I shared this image, with the following caption, for the first time two years ago: Getting my therapy gym room ready for the new school year! I put up this sign this year… “In Action Room, we ALL respect ‘No’.” Grown-ups and kids. If a grown-up tells a child “No, we can’t do that,” then … Read more
Exerting power over a child just for the sake of exerting it is a threat to the child’s feelings of safety, and they know it. They’ve been living in this world for however many years, and they’ve learned it. They might not be able to say it in words, but they feel it innately. Children … Read more
Two stories about power and powerlessness. A child and an adult were entering a classroom, together, one on one. The child skipped ahead of the adult through the open door of the classroom, zigzagged to the left and the right, saw the mini trampoline in the room and beelined toward that, did a single jump … Read more
Okay, after my last post, you might be asking, how do we give kids power and autonomy? Honestly, a different way to ask this same question might be, how do we protect their right to their own power and autonomy? Because in the absence of adult interference, kids will find the ways that they want … Read more
There’s a quote that I’ve seen on the internet that goes like this. “Sometimes people use ‘respect’ to mean ‘treating someone like a person’, and sometimes they use ‘respect’ to mean ‘treating someone like an authority’. So sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say, ‘If you won’t respect me, I … Read more