Your child might recognize the inherent power imbalance in society—that adults are treated as superior to and better than kids—and find that to be unjust, and not have a diagnosis of PDA. Please hear what I’m saying. I’m not trying to make the gate smaller or the opening narrower or let fewer people in. I’m … Read more
One of my absolute favorite things about our new life in Australia is that we’ve made best friends with the neighbours, who have several kids close in age to both of my children. All of our kids are neurodivergent and watching these gorgeous ND friendships flourish is giving me life every day. (All of this … Read more
(All I’m doing in this post is describing adult/child interactions that I observed, but I want to give you a heads up that it’s kind of infuriating. I think that’s important to share and to talk about, but I wanted to put this heads-up here because I know that some readers have been more intensely … Read more
Imagine that you sit down to watch a movie. You pop yourself a bowl of popcorn to go with it…maybe your favorite toppings, whether salt and butter or marshmallow or Parmesan cheese or something else…you pick up the remote, hit play, and get ready to watch the movie while eating your popcorn. Then somebody takes … Read more
One thing went wrong. And it led to another. And it was too many things. And he was MAD. I carried him into his room so that we would have a safe space to melt down. He screamed at me, “JUST GO AWAY FROM ME!” I have talked about this before (I’ll link that post … Read more
My son was feeling a little bit “out of whack” (that’s usually the least-jargony way I can describe the word “dysregulated”). He was picking at everyone in the family, emotionally, verbally. He pushed his sister, who was watching a show, far enough for her to lash out at him physically, to hit him and push … Read more
“I want you to build a tower,” I say. You agree, and you stand up to go get the bucket of blocks off the shelf. I shake my head sternly. “No. Did I tell you you could get up? Sit down. Build a tower.” You look confused. You point over at the bucket of blocks. … Read more
I want you to imagine for a moment that…everything is really good right now. Imagine that all the things on your to-do list that feel like “have to”s (instead of “get to”s) are taken care of. Someone is going to bring you dinner and it’s food you love and your body is hungry for it. … Read more
If you are pursuing diagnosis for your neurodivergent child, it’s okay to take your neuro-affirming lens back “off” in order to talk to the doctor about your child. What I mean is that you are not a bad parent or you don’t love your child less if you play the system by its own rules. … Read more
At my lecture last Friday, during the Q&A session, somebody asked me if I had any ideas for connecting meaningfully and playfully in therapy with a child whose special interest was vacuums, and who spent most of the session searching the clinic in hopes of finding a vacuum. I gave a few ideas right off … Read more