In response to my assertion that kids are inevitably doing the best that they can do, someone will almost always ask a question about a child who is vehemently endorsing the opposite. A child who is angry and making sure everybody around them knows it. A child who might be regularly yelling and screaming exact … Read more
My kid woke up disgruntled. There wasn’t really any discernible reason for it. I’m not identifying which kid because honestly, I swear they take turns doing this. I had stayed up late the night before, and I knew I was on “wake up” duty in the morning. (Rev. Dr. Mr. TOPT and I usually swap … Read more
I would guess that the #1 question that I’m asked — the top situation that people want resources for — is what to do when your child has already tilted past the threshold of 100% dysregulation and is melting down, right now. I’ve answered that one in my post called Survive about as well … Read more
A weird component of running a page like this while my kids are 5 and 6, not grown, is that I’m still in the middle of this. It’s not theoretical and it’s not like I’m reflecting on years ago. Trying to find the balance between not oversharing about my personal life and my kids’ stories, … Read more
Age 5 (and 6) is extremely concerned with perfection. It’s a normal developmental phase. (Yes, this might also mean that your 4 year old or 4.5 year old or 7 year old are like this. I am describing the peak age at which this phase is typically, generalised across a population, at its most intense.) … Read more
I recently appeared on the podcast Dauntless Grace to talk about trauma, play, reparenting ourselves, and that infamous consequences post. You can listen to the interview on their website, Dauntless Grace. It’s also available on iTunes here, and on Spotify here. If you’d rather read rather than listen, the transcript is available here.
This is what goes through my head when I decide if I need to say “no” to something. (…on a good day, on a regulated day, when I’m parenting consciously…not just responding out of habit) The first three items are usually easy to tell at a glance. I don’t usually spend a lot of time … Read more
I wanted to give an example of how the same activity/craft/invitation to play can mean different things to different children (who are at different stages of development and therefore are exploring different things through their play!) I set out foam stickers, markers, and construction paper with my children, who were at the time ages 3.5 … Read more