Pretty much the entire public school system in Western society (which is the only school system I have personal experience with, hence my qualifier) is rooted in: Adults decide when kids need to know stuff. Adults tell the kids the stuff. Adults test to see if the kids retained the stuff. Adults try to enforce/motivate … Read more
How is driving on the opposite side of the road like your kid hitting their sibling? *** My family recently moved to a new country. Now I’m driving on the right side of the car and the left side of the road, instead of the left side of the car and the right side of … Read more
Do you understand the difference between wishes, limits, and boundaries? If you find yourself saying the word “want” or “need”, a lot of times you are expressing a value, a wish, or a feeling. Same with the word “let”, as in “they won’t let me…” Limits are a decision that you are enforcing about the … Read more
I have a guessing game called, “Which of these ‘behaviors’ is actually a sign of developmentally appropriate schema play in toddlers and babies?” (if you don’t know what schema play is, I’ll explain in just a sec 😉 ) Okay, so here are your options: a) Throwing toys, even after the adult has told the … Read more
A year ago, my children, who were 5 and 6 at the time, had similar-aged friends come over to the house. The four of them all played together, running around the house and roughhousing. One friend didn’t really get physically hurt, but the play got too rough and they were emotionally a little overwhelmed and … Read more
When something uncomfortable—like something for medical health and safety—has to happen for a child, it’s often adults’ instinct to try to do it as fast as possible, to get it over with. (After all, it would be kind of barbaric to extend an uncomfortable or painful experience when it could be sped up and then … Read more
“We have to leave the park in five minutes.” “How about six?” “You need to work on this for ten minutes.” “No, I choose nine!” What do you say next? Do you dig your heels in? Fight for that sixty seconds? That sixty grumpy, angry, dysregulated seconds, that might just poison the whole thing? I … Read more
Three scenarios about my children (5 and 4) (fictionalized, but compiled from real scenarios) and the way that parenting shifts based on what actually happens…instead of what I might imagine will happen. *** Summer: I’m a scary monster and you run away from me. Apollo: OK. AAAAH!!!!! Scary monster! Summer: (super offended) NO! I’m not a … Read more
We do not need to decide when our kids “need” to learn to count and write. If they see us modeling counting and writing authentically, they will be interested in it and pursue it when their brains are ready to figure it out. Count things when things need to be counted! Count them out loud … Read more
I’ve recently seen some confusion about how empathy develops in children. Someone might say, “You can’t expect children to start showing empathy or take someone else’s perspective until they’re 7+”, and someone else might argue, “But toddlers and even babies absolutely seem like they’re being empathetic—so we can expect it of them.” The truth is … Read more