Imagine this scenario: A seven-year-old with “just” fine motor difficulties (i.e. — no formal diagnosis of any medical/social/emotional condition) wakes up in the morning. He struggles to get himself dressed, because the clothes that he wants to wear have small buttons on them that he doesn’t know how to do. The last time he tried, … Read more
(All I’m doing in this post is describing adult/child interactions that I observed, but I want to give you a heads up that it’s kind of infuriating. I think that’s important to share and to talk about, but I wanted to put this heads-up here because I know that some readers have been more intensely … Read more
I’ve recently seen some confusion about how empathy develops in children. Someone might say, “You can’t expect children to start showing empathy or take someone else’s perspective until they’re 7+”, and someone else might argue, “But toddlers and even babies absolutely seem like they’re being empathetic—so we can expect it of them.” The truth is … Read more
If a child feels the deepest depths of sadness they’ve ever felt, and expresses it by becoming silent, laying their head down on their desk, and silent tears rolling down their face — adults will probably offer them comfort. Maybe tissues, maybe hugs, maybe a quiet listening ear. If a child feels the deepest depths … Read more
When adults ask me for advice, sometimes they’ll ask about a child who’s going through something that’s legitimately difficult. A big life transition (new baby is a common one), a grief or loss, something traumatic having happened, etc. They might ask me something like, “How am I supposed to help them process this happening? I … Read more
My son was feeling a little bit “out of whack” (that’s usually the least-jargony way I can describe the word “dysregulated”). He was picking at everyone in the family, emotionally, verbally. He pushed his sister, who was watching a show, far enough for her to lash out at him physically, to hit him and push … Read more
Did you know that yelling is, from a sensory perspective, a very regulating thing to do? That might sound weird and it might make your brain jump to conclusions that aren’t the same as exactly what I’m saying. But think about it for a moment, from a mental perspective of thinking of the mechanics of … Read more
Recently I had an OT session with a child who I’ve known for many years. They were unusually irritable and on-edge, and at one point they were so frustrated with what they were trying to do that they started to cry. I asked if they needed help. They said, “STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS!” I could … Read more
People use the word “redirect” to mean a lot of things. Sometimes people are using it to talk about actions. Sometimes they are using it to talk about emotions. Sometimes they are using it to talk about energy levels. Sometimes people are using it to talk about distracting. Sometimes they are using it to actually … Read more
Age 5 (and 6) is extremely concerned with perfection. It’s a normal developmental phase. (Yes, this might also mean that your 4 year old or 4.5 year old or 7 year old are like this. I am describing the peak age at which this phase is typically, generalised across a population, at its most intense.) … Read more