A couple of weeks ago my son, who’s 5, needed to have dental work done for the first time in his life. It wasn’t extensive and there wasn’t any drilling, but just the process of having to go to a scary place and have someone put their hands and tools in his mouth was hard … Read more
One of the most asked questions that I ever get—both in comment form, and in email form. I finally took the time to really write out a very long post answering it. Q: How can I help my child when they’re already at the crisis point—the point of melting down, hitting, kicking, throwing, etc? Assuming … Read more
I think there are most likely exactly zero of us who received explicit, overt, interoceptive (inner body sense) instruction growing up. Maybe there are a few of us who did actually receive good instruction, but with different language — like, “here’s how to listen to yourself and tell when you are hungry vs full”, or, … Read more
On my Facebook page, I asked adults to share something that their child had been doing that was frustrating or upsetting to them. I then invited people in the comments (myself included) to respond, from the perspective of the child…what the child might be thinking or learning or trying or not-trying and how it’s getting … Read more
My friend Jessica, who runs the page Once Upon an Upset, once wrote: “So many of us are afraid of getting taken advantage of that we forget the option of offering grace.” It’s strange that this is true of adults and children, but it is, nevertheless, true in my experience. I think it has to … Read more
Communicating is not always speaking. It can be easy to write off neurodivergent people’s voices because they don’t always sound like neurotypical people’s voices. Imagine finally taking the effort and time to explain something that has happened to you, only for the person listening to not even engage with the content of what you’re saying, … Read more
I had a kid recently who is not on my caseload. Their teacher asked me offhandedly about something they do, what I would call a stim. In their case, they pick at the skin on their fingernails until the point of bleeding. They’re not distressed by the picking, but they are distressed by the blood. … Read more
Let’s talk about euphemisms. When non-disabled people dodge around the word “disabled” because they think it’s an uncomfortable word, that’s a euphemism. When they say someone has “special needs” or is “differently-abled” or is “challenged”, those are euphemisms. Most of the disabled community do not like being spoken of euphemistically. It’s a whole other conversational … Read more
Here’s a quick little thought/frustration of mine: Please, please, let kindergarteners (and first graders) (and I’d even say second graders!) use half-pencils instead of full pencils. I say “let” because I keep having to write it into IEPs as an accommodation. I wish it was just the normal! Children’s hands are 4-5 inches in circumference. … Read more
It is extremely common and normal for children to reverse or invert letters when they are learning to write, or confuse those letters when they are learning to read. It makes perfect sense when you think about it. Take any other image or object in the world, and flip it horizontally, or look at it … Read more