Wishes, Limits, & Boundaries

Do you understand the difference between wishes, limits, and boundaries? If you find yourself saying the word “want” or “need”, a lot of times you are expressing a value, a wish, or a feeling. Same with the word “let”, as in “they won’t let me…” Limits are a decision that you are enforcing about the … Read more

Sensory Mismatch Key: Need Isn’t Behavior

In my last post, I shared the first tool for dealing with sensory mismatch. Today I’ll share another tool. Just like in the last post, some of the things I say in this post may be tricky to understand if you haven’t read any of my past posts about sensory processing or some of the … Read more

A Proprioception Primer

When I try to define the word “proprioception” I usually refer to it as “deep body sense”. The sensing part of it also has to do with your sense of body in space and your body in relation to itself and other objects. Proprioception is sometimes called the “universal regulator” in that nearly everybody in … Read more

Learning To Fight

This post has an audio and video recorded version for those who prefer to learn by hearing rather than by reading. Scroll to the bottom for the video of me reading it. “I wish I could let my kids learn to work out their own fights, but it turns from verbal to physical in the … Read more

In the “Wrong”

My kids built an obstacle course together out of pillows and mats in our house. My son went on it first. When he got to the end, he flopped down on the mats, laying down across several of them and blocking the way. My daughter had waited her turn and now she asked him to … Read more

Maladaptive Coping

I had a kid recently who is not on my caseload. Their teacher asked me offhandedly about something they do, what I would call a stim. In their case, they pick at the skin on their fingernails until the point of bleeding. They’re not distressed by the picking, but they are distressed by the blood. … Read more

Learning to Argue

A story of mediating conflict between young siblings, rather than solving it for them. My then-2yo “Summer” was lying on the ground in the middle of the living room floor, playing with toys underneath her blanket like a tent. My then-4yo “Apollo” was driving toy cars around. I was in the kitchen, which is adjacent … Read more