Wishes, Limits, & Boundaries

Do you understand the difference between wishes, limits, and boundaries? If you find yourself saying the word “want” or “need”, a lot of times you are expressing a value, a wish, or a feeling. Same with the word “let”, as in “they won’t let me…” Limits are a decision that you are enforcing about the … Read more

Immediate Obedience

Immediate obedience is a fear response. There isn’t immediate obedience when you’re committed to parenting your children without making them afraid of you. Sometimes your kid just needs a second to process what you asked them. They’re not afraid of you, so they don’t fearfully freeze while they process, or override their logic brain that … Read more

Sensory Mismatch Conclusion

The last thing that I wanted you to know this week, as I wrap up my talks about sensory mismatch (the other four posts are here: one, two, three, four), is that kids will typically become better at managing this mismatch themselves over time, so you don’t have to feel like this will take active … Read more

Sensory Mismatch Key: Need Isn’t Behavior

In my last post, I shared the first tool for dealing with sensory mismatch. Today I’ll share another tool. Just like in the last post, some of the things I say in this post may be tricky to understand if you haven’t read any of my past posts about sensory processing or some of the … Read more

A Proprioception Primer

When I try to define the word “proprioception” I usually refer to it as “deep body sense”. The sensing part of it also has to do with your sense of body in space and your body in relation to itself and other objects. Proprioception is sometimes called the “universal regulator” in that nearly everybody in … Read more

Case Study: Sensory Mismatch in Play

I’ve written before about “sensory mismatch”. It’s one of the hardest things for people with vastly different sensory profiles to be able to get along with each other in stressful circumstances. Let me tell you another story from my own family. The cast of characters here is myself, my son Apollo (5), and my daughter … Read more

Naming the Subtext

This post has an audio and video recorded version for those who prefer to learn by hearing rather than by reading. Scroll to the bottom for the video of me reading it. You know, one thing that I notice is a pattern with most adults (me included) is that they might notice patterns with their … Read more

Learning To Fight

This post has an audio and video recorded version for those who prefer to learn by hearing rather than by reading. Scroll to the bottom for the video of me reading it. “I wish I could let my kids learn to work out their own fights, but it turns from verbal to physical in the … Read more

In the “Wrong”

My kids built an obstacle course together out of pillows and mats in our house. My son went on it first. When he got to the end, he flopped down on the mats, laying down across several of them and blocking the way. My daughter had waited her turn and now she asked him to … Read more

Bluey & Problem Solving

In “Double Babysitter” (s2 e39), Bluey is skeptical about having a babysitter put her to bed. The reason that she’s able to give right away is that it’s just “different” from when Mum and Dad do it. Mum and Dad reassure her, and confidently leave them with the babysitters anyway. At first, the babysitters try … Read more