When you were a child, if you had said, “I’m so mad right now,” would you have been safe? If you had said, “I’m furious—I need a break, get away from me!” If you had screamed, “No!” Would you have been safe? Physically? Emotionally? At home? At school? I hope the answer is yes. I … Read more
When adults ask me for advice, sometimes they’ll ask about a child who’s going through something that’s legitimately difficult. A big life transition (new baby is a common one), a grief or loss, something traumatic having happened, etc. They might ask me something like, “How am I supposed to help them process this happening? I … Read more
Imagine how unsafe you would have to feel before you would punch somebody. Imagine how threatened you would have to feel before you would intentionally knock things over and run away. Imagine how distressed you would have to be to throw yourself to the floor rather than go somewhere. Really imagine it. Really imagine your … Read more
Lying in prone (aka on your tummy) and propping up on your elbows to play—even to play electronics!—is important work. It strengthens the muscles in your core. It strengthens and stabilizes the joints that are propping up—the elbows, the shoulders. Even when I get tired or unfocused at work, I’ve been known to put what … Read more
When I wrote about my “biggest marker in the world” (aka a Sharpie Magnum), someone in the comments suggested that we could like, tape a marker to a big stick or a big cardboard tube and actually make the biggest marker in the world. So, we taped a marker to a 3 foot cardboard tube … Read more
My conference this week was absolutely amazing. I have a million thoughts rattling in my head and they need some time to condense into ways to explain myself, to share with you about what I learned, what I was able to share, what all this week meant to me. I’m going to share this, though … Read more
Someone asked me what to do when one of their children was distressed by the other child crying. Their kids were 6 and 4, and so are mine. The 4 year old especially would cry quite often, and the parent wants to give the child space to cry and feel like all their feelings are … Read more
Imagine that you sit down to watch a movie. You pop yourself a bowl of popcorn to go with it…maybe your favorite toppings, whether salt and butter or marshmallow or Parmesan cheese or something else…you pick up the remote, hit play, and get ready to watch the movie while eating your popcorn. Then somebody takes … Read more
Everybody in the world has one (or more) sensory processing styles; we all process input from the world around us. One theory of thinking of these processing styles uses 4 quadrants to describe them: sensory seekers, sensory avoiders, sensory sensitive, and sensory “missers”. This post assumes you already know those 4 terms, and applies them … Read more
I’ve written before on here about my own strategy of enjoying yelling along to music, as a means of preemptively self-regulating. Because when I’m stressed out, I have a tendency to want to yell (at my kids), so I take that need, recognise it, and preemptively meet it in a non harmful way, when I’m … Read more