If a child feels the deepest depths of sadness they’ve ever felt, and expresses it by becoming silent, laying their head down on their desk, and silent tears rolling down their face — adults will probably offer them comfort. Maybe tissues, maybe hugs, maybe a quiet listening ear. If a child feels the deepest depths … Read more
A young child whose toy is snatched away might instinctively hit the child snatching their toy. An older child whose toy is snatched might say, “Hey! Give me that or I’m gonna hit you!” Both of these situations might be triggering or upsetting to the adult intervening. And it might be hard to see the … Read more
DOCTOR’S REPORT PATIENT: Kelsie Olds DOB: XX/XX/XXXX CONCERNS: Patient’s family report that the patient is continually making annoying noises with their nose, mouth, and throat. These include: sneezing frequently, blowing nose frequently, making a scratching noise with throat and mouth. There are other behavioral concerns as well. The patient uses their hands to excessively rub … Read more
Immediate obedience is a fear response. There isn’t immediate obedience when you’re committed to parenting your children without making them afraid of you. Sometimes your kid just needs a second to process what you asked them. They’re not afraid of you, so they don’t fearfully freeze while they process, or override their logic brain that … Read more
When adults ask me for advice, sometimes they’ll ask about a child who’s going through something that’s legitimately difficult. A big life transition (new baby is a common one), a grief or loss, something traumatic having happened, etc. They might ask me something like, “How am I supposed to help them process this happening? I … Read more
Lying in prone (aka on your tummy) and propping up on your elbows to play—even to play electronics!—is important work. It strengthens the muscles in your core. It strengthens and stabilizes the joints that are propping up—the elbows, the shoulders. Even when I get tired or unfocused at work, I’ve been known to put what … Read more
Someone asked me what to do when one of their children was distressed by the other child crying. Their kids were 6 and 4, and so are mine. The 4 year old especially would cry quite often, and the parent wants to give the child space to cry and feel like all their feelings are … Read more
Imagine that you sit down to watch a movie. You pop yourself a bowl of popcorn to go with it…maybe your favorite toppings, whether salt and butter or marshmallow or Parmesan cheese or something else…you pick up the remote, hit play, and get ready to watch the movie while eating your popcorn. Then somebody takes … Read more
Have you ever done the thing where you find yourself thinking, “okay, it’s 10:55 and I have an appointment at 2. So i need to leave at 1:30 and that’s basically right after lunch and 12 is lunchtime and it’s almost 11 now and 11 is almost 12 so I pretty much can’t do anything … Read more
As more and more parents, caregivers, and adults start undertaking the work of helping the next generation of children feel safe to express their feelings rather than repeat unhealthy habits from the past, it can be hard knowing where to begin or which way is up. Co-regulation, self-regulation, interoception, what do these words mean? What … Read more