I had the opportunity to speak to a group at one of the schools where I work on the topic of discerning whether kids’ “behavior” could be motivated by sensory processing, or whether it’s just “acting out”. (If you’ve been following this page for any amount of time, you might guess the spoiler alert that … Read more
I posted last week about the overuse of the word “listen” to mean “obey” in adult/child relationships — i.e., “you’re not listening to me” when what the adult really means is “you’re not complying with what I told you”, not, “your ears are not processing the language I’m saying.” A lot of people in the … Read more
I grew up with a lot of technology. We had a home computer since before I was born and we had access to it pretty much whenever, as long as an adult didn’t need it right at that moment. I used to play simple clicking games when I was very young, like 3 and 4, … Read more
Once you start paying attention to how often adults say “listen” to euphemistically mean “obey”, it’s hard to get it out of your head. I think many of the adults I know are trying very hard to be gentle and respectful with kids, and they would feel wildly uncomfortable saying the exact same sentences if … Read more
A few years ago, I was working as an occupational therapist for a group institution/foster home for older children with disabilities. I could basically come once a week and do a group activity that anyone could participate in if they wanted to. It needed to be accessible to a wide range of ability levels. This … Read more
…I was going to put “play with scissors” and “play riskily” on here, too, but I thought that might freak people out TOO much. 😉 Seriously, though. It’s the start of summer break at the American schools I work at. I know English schools go awhile longer before having more of a break in August, … Read more
Exerting power over a child just for the sake of exerting it is a threat to the child’s feelings of safety, and they know it. They’ve been living in this world for however many years, and they’ve learned it. They might not be able to say it in words, but they feel it innately. Children … Read more
This quote sums up everything I’ve ever tried to say about “behavior” and does it so perfectly succinctly in four sentences. What’s the best-case scenario? That instead of wanting to get revenge on children for the ways they act that inconvenience, bother, or annoy us, we start to soften. We start to see them empathetically. … Read more
If my partner and I were chatting and he said “Ughhh, I’m so stressed out by writing this dissertation, I could just throw my computer out the window!” I wouldn’t say, “Well, you aren’t allowed to throw your computer out the window.” I might say, “I know. I know it’s maddening.” If my boss and … Read more
“Did you know,” he tells me, his feet kicking off the ground to push the swing again, “that if you wake up before 3 AM, there’s a 1 in 3 chance it’s because you heard somebody breaking into your house?” “Hmmm,” I answer reflexively. I’m sitting on the floor with my knees up, facing in … Read more