Sitting is not morally better than standing. Sitting is not morally better than pacing. Sitting is not morally better than wandering. Sitting is easier for some adults to handle than standing, pacing, or wandering. Why are we more worried about what is easier for adults to handle than what makes it easier for children to … Read more
“Just don’t X in the first place” is sometimes, occasionally, helpful advice. It may be helpful to a brand-new parent, especially if they’re a close friend or have specifically solicited advice. “Just don’t let your kids drink juice.” “Just don’t introduce candy to them until they’re older.” “Just don’t have screen time.” “Just don’t let … Read more
Note: I don’t mean literal boxes. Although they might do that too. 😉 Four-year-olds (and five- and six- and even seven-year-olds, and maybe three-year-olds, and yes maybe even older depending on your unique child — but here I’m talking about averages and norms) are very black-and-white. They do not understand intricacies and nuances. They are … Read more
A challenging thing about having children with vastly different sensory processing styles, or about having a very different sensory processing style yourself than your child, can be finding solutions in your family that meet both needs. I get requests to write about this “sensory mismatch” a lot—for good reason! It’s a complicated topic. It’s a … Read more
My coworker and friend walked into my office and said, “I just went to use the microwave and someone had just left it on one second!” My other coworker/friend agreed “Ugh, I hate that!” I sat there, knowing for certain that I was the one who had left it on one second. For a fraction … Read more
(Another post where I just walk you through my thought processes during a particular day.) I pull up in the driveway expecting an evening at home, but my son is already in the driveway asking me to take him to the park. We throw some things together and head to the park instead. He has … Read more
This post needs a content warning. I am talking about violence against children—not in the present tense, thankfully, but in the past tense. I am also talking about defusing anger responses against children instead of giving in to them. I understand that this is a really fraught topic. I have times in my life where … Read more
This post has an audio and video recorded version for those who prefer to learn by hearing rather than by reading. Scroll to the bottom for the video of me reading it. I think we would actually all be fine if we would drop the word “consequences” from our vocabularies entirely. I’d certainly prefer it … Read more
When we introduce a new baby to the family, our kids might hear a lot of the following (from us, or from family members, or from well-meaning well-wishers): “You’re going to be such a good big brother/sister!” “Aren’t you so excited to be the big brother/sister?” “Isn’t it so fun having a new baby?” …etc, … Read more
A post originally from two years ago, of a time when I “got it right” with playfulness, and with seeing “misbehavior” as a plea for playfulness. *** My 2yo and I were sitting at the kids’ dinner table. My 3.5yo always has a hard time with dinner. He’s groggy from his nap and his blood … Read more