Would You Have Been Safe?

When you were a child, if you had said, “I’m so mad right now,” would you have been safe?

If you had said, “I’m furious—I need a break, get away from me!”

If you had screamed, “No!”

Would you have been safe? Physically? Emotionally? At home? At school?

I hope the answer is yes. I hope we can make the answer be yes for our children.

I know there are some people for whom the answer is no.

I think that sometimes makes it very hard to have the right words to say when you’re so mad *right now*, in adulthood. You never learned to safely express the childish version, let alone how to add adult finesse on top of it, when you’re flooded with overwhelm and emotion.

I have been trying to remember that lately, and hold some grace for myself, and make a plan about what words to say as I navigate that.