Pretty much the entire public school system in Western society (which is the only school system I have personal experience with, hence my qualifier) is rooted in: Adults decide when kids need to know stuff. Adults tell the kids the stuff. Adults test to see if the kids retained the stuff. Adults try to enforce/motivate … Read more
Sometimes when my kids are playing, one of them plays too rough or in a different way than the other one wanted them to. Sometimes they will appeal to me for intervention: “I said stop and he’s not stopping!” More often, lately, though, the dynamics have been shifting. In their younger years, I would jump … Read more
How is driving on the opposite side of the road like your kid hitting their sibling? *** My family recently moved to a new country. Now I’m driving on the right side of the car and the left side of the road, instead of the left side of the car and the right side of … Read more
Last year, when I was writing my book, I was trying to find a source and got sidetracked reading a bunch of stuff about moral development in children (as one does) and I was just cracking up reading it because it was like this study about children age 4-8 and the researchers showed them pictures … Read more
Do you understand the difference between wishes, limits, and boundaries? If you find yourself saying the word “want” or “need”, a lot of times you are expressing a value, a wish, or a feeling. Same with the word “let”, as in “they won’t let me…” Limits are a decision that you are enforcing about the … Read more
Sometimes success can’t be measured because in this instance, success literally means becoming unmeasurable. The meltdown that didn’t happen. The dysregulation that lasted only for a few beats before their safe adult was there. The day when “nothing getting done” was far superior to “everything going wrong”. The trip that was able to exist instead … Read more
I have a guessing game called, “Which of these ‘behaviors’ is actually a sign of developmentally appropriate schema play in toddlers and babies?” (if you don’t know what schema play is, I’ll explain in just a sec 😉 ) Okay, so here are your options: a) Throwing toys, even after the adult has told the … Read more
#5 – Culture does not dictate children’s development. Just because a teacher, grandparent, friend, book, or person on the internet thinks your child “ought to be ready by now” does not necessarily mean that they are. #4 – Hurting kids—emotionally, physically, or mentally—does not make anything better. If you’re looking for a book to tell … Read more
A year ago, my children, who were 5 and 6 at the time, had similar-aged friends come over to the house. The four of them all played together, running around the house and roughhousing. One friend didn’t really get physically hurt, but the play got too rough and they were emotionally a little overwhelmed and … Read more
During one of the recent snow days home, my kids were getting really sick of being cooped up inside and struggling to be able to play with one another successfully. They both needed more space than was available inside, and they were both sick of trying to play bundled up in the snow, and the … Read more