Three scenarios about my children (5 and 4) (fictionalized, but compiled from real scenarios) and the way that parenting shifts based on what actually happens…instead of what I might imagine will happen. *** Summer: I’m a scary monster and you run away from me. Apollo: OK. AAAAH!!!!! Scary monster! Summer: (super offended) NO! I’m not a … Read more
Here is the basic difference between an IEP and a 504 plan in the United States. They are both types of support that children with disabilities or special educational needs can be given in the United States. They both are legal documents, drafted with a public school, that tell the school what support the child … Read more
We do not need to decide when our kids “need” to learn to count and write. If they see us modeling counting and writing authentically, they will be interested in it and pursue it when their brains are ready to figure it out. Count things when things need to be counted! Count them out loud … Read more
I’ve recently seen some confusion about how empathy develops in children. Someone might say, “You can’t expect children to start showing empathy or take someone else’s perspective until they’re 7+”, and someone else might argue, “But toddlers and even babies absolutely seem like they’re being empathetic—so we can expect it of them.” The truth is … Read more
If a child feels the deepest depths of sadness they’ve ever felt, and expresses it by becoming silent, laying their head down on their desk, and silent tears rolling down their face — adults will probably offer them comfort. Maybe tissues, maybe hugs, maybe a quiet listening ear. If a child feels the deepest depths … Read more
A young child whose toy is snatched away might instinctively hit the child snatching their toy. An older child whose toy is snatched might say, “Hey! Give me that or I’m gonna hit you!” Both of these situations might be triggering or upsetting to the adult intervening. And it might be hard to see the … Read more
DOCTOR’S REPORT PATIENT: Kelsie Olds DOB: XX/XX/XXXX CONCERNS: Patient’s family report that the patient is continually making annoying noises with their nose, mouth, and throat. These include: sneezing frequently, blowing nose frequently, making a scratching noise with throat and mouth. There are other behavioral concerns as well. The patient uses their hands to excessively rub … Read more
Immediate obedience is a fear response. There isn’t immediate obedience when you’re committed to parenting your children without making them afraid of you. Sometimes your kid just needs a second to process what you asked them. They’re not afraid of you, so they don’t fearfully freeze while they process, or override their logic brain that … Read more
When adults ask me for advice, sometimes they’ll ask about a child who’s going through something that’s legitimately difficult. A big life transition (new baby is a common one), a grief or loss, something traumatic having happened, etc. They might ask me something like, “How am I supposed to help them process this happening? I … Read more
Imagine how unsafe you would have to feel before you would punch somebody. Imagine how threatened you would have to feel before you would intentionally knock things over and run away. Imagine how distressed you would have to be to throw yourself to the floor rather than go somewhere. Really imagine it. Really imagine your … Read more