This post has an audio and video recorded version for those who prefer to learn by hearing rather than by reading. Scroll to the bottom for the video of me reading it. I think we would actually all be fine if we would drop the word “consequences” from our vocabularies entirely. I’d certainly prefer it … Read more
I had the opportunity to speak to a group at one of the schools where I work on the topic of discerning whether kids’ “behavior” could be motivated by sensory processing, or whether it’s just “acting out”. (If you’ve been following this page for any amount of time, you might guess the spoiler alert that … Read more
I posted last week about the overuse of the word “listen” to mean “obey” in adult/child relationships — i.e., “you’re not listening to me” when what the adult really means is “you’re not complying with what I told you”, not, “your ears are not processing the language I’m saying.” A lot of people in the … Read more
I had a student recently who I wanted to give a fidget to. He already had a fidget for his classroom, but I had recently got a big bag of fidgets and found a particular one I thought he’d enjoy, that I would gift to him. I set up a little scavenger hunt for our … Read more
Exerting power over a child just for the sake of exerting it is a threat to the child’s feelings of safety, and they know it. They’ve been living in this world for however many years, and they’ve learned it. They might not be able to say it in words, but they feel it innately. Children … Read more
My son huffed at a puddle that he didn’t want to be there the other day and said, “The rain is making bad choices!” It made me laugh, because it was cute and funny. And then it made me think, because most of the adults I know who say, “___ is making bad choices,” are … Read more
This is going to be very long. And this was the hardest post to write this month. I sat down to write it three or four times before I was actually able to make myself do so. I’m going to do my absolute best to write it with grace and empathy; I hope you will … Read more
“Compliance isn’t respect, and noncompliance isn’t a lack of respect” is a big lesson for adults to learn. One thing that has continually blown me away as I’ve learned and grown on this journey of coming to understand child development is how much language plays a role in this. I took completely for granted how … Read more
I sat in on a behavior plan meeting one time where the adults were somewhat baffled. All the “usual tricks” hadn’t worked for the child: reward charts, earning privileges, stickers, etc. Finally what they agreed as a team to put into the behavior plan was that this child would respond best if given “unconditional positive … Read more
(From the archives of my own personal FB page, a story from when I was an early therapist. I would do some things differently now, but I still appreciated the story.) *** I have a kid who I see every week at the same time. He’s usually working on the same in-class spelling worksheet, and … Read more