As more and more parents, caregivers, and adults start undertaking the work of helping the next generation of children feel safe to express their feelings rather than repeat unhealthy habits from the past, it can be hard knowing where to begin or which way is up. Co-regulation, self-regulation, interoception, what do these words mean? What … Read more
A lot of public schools in the US, and at least some in the UK near where I live, have begun figuring out how they can teach social-emotional skills and things like self-regulation and coping skills to children. I need to say outright at the beginning of this that I am not *against* that. I … Read more
Recently I had an OT session with a child who I’ve known for many years. They were unusually irritable and on-edge, and at one point they were so frustrated with what they were trying to do that they started to cry. I asked if they needed help. They said, “STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS!” I could … Read more
There’s an episode of Bluey called Space. In it, three little boys are playing together at their kindergarten. They’re playing pretend space explorers. As they navigate who is going to play what role in the game, one of the little boys keeps asking the other two to pretend that they leave him behind, all alone. … Read more
People of all ages sometimes seek out crying when they need it, because crying can be very healing and stress-relieving. Adults might put on a sad movie, listen to music that holds a lot of meaning for them, or look through old photos or keepsakes to make themselves cry. Some children might also seek out … Read more
Age 5 (and 6) is extremely concerned with perfection. It’s a normal developmental phase. (Yes, this might also mean that your 4 year old or 4.5 year old or 7 year old are like this. I am describing the peak age at which this phase is typically, generalised across a population, at its most intense.) … Read more
This is another one of my “big kid” room setups as I lean heavily this year into trying to continue to practice child-led play-based therapy, even with older children (9-15ish). It’s easier for me to figure out how to offer it for young kids, and it’s harder with the big kids, but it’s what I’m … Read more
Have you been trying to offer your child coping strategies when they’re in the middle of a meltdown and not been having a lot of success? If so, I have a couple of questions for you. 1. What coping strategies are you choosing to use yourself when *you* are in the middle of a meltdown? … Read more
My old typewriter has been an option in the room for a few weeks now, but writing feels like a threat to him. Even typing feels adult-dictated. Even typing on something fun. It always just sits there quietly, an option if he wants to. He ignores it one week, ignores it again the next. Another … Read more
This post has an audio and video recorded version for those who prefer to learn by hearing rather than by reading. Scroll to the bottom for the video of me reading it. “I wish I could let my kids learn to work out their own fights, but it turns from verbal to physical in the … Read more