One of the most asked questions that I ever get—both in comment form, and in email form. I finally took the time to really write out a very long post answering it. Q: How can I help my child when they’re already at the crisis point—the point of melting down, hitting, kicking, throwing, etc? Assuming … Read more
On my Facebook page, I asked adults to share something that their child had been doing that was frustrating or upsetting to them. I then invited people in the comments (myself included) to respond, from the perspective of the child…what the child might be thinking or learning or trying or not-trying and how it’s getting … Read more
My friend Jessica, who runs the page Once Upon an Upset, once wrote: “So many of us are afraid of getting taken advantage of that we forget the option of offering grace.” It’s strange that this is true of adults and children, but it is, nevertheless, true in my experience. I think it has to … Read more
I had a kid recently who is not on my caseload. Their teacher asked me offhandedly about something they do, what I would call a stim. In their case, they pick at the skin on their fingernails until the point of bleeding. They’re not distressed by the picking, but they are distressed by the blood. … Read more
[Image description: A picture of a table that is low to the ground, only about 1 foot high. On top of it are Plus Plus blocks, separated into piles according to color. Taped to the table is a piece of paper that reads: “If you need an idea of what to make, maybe… -a flower … Read more
I shared a post about parents asking “How do I get my child to…” and trying to get away from that language, which isn’t helpful for understanding what is going on for the child that they *can’t* do whatever the expectation is. Someone in the comments wanted to know, “What about a situation like allowing … Read more
A few nights ago, one of my children had a complete and total meltdown. Screaming. Crying. Yelling for their dad, who was not available, working from home in the closed office. (Dad is the stay-at-home parent during the days, and the highly preferred parent in my family!) Wringing their hands, clenching them into fists, yelling … Read more
Just a simple reminder. ❤ A lot of times, we think (mistakenly) that if we don’t lecture our child “in the moment” about whatever it is that they did wrong (or whatever we think should have been different), then they won’t learn anything from it, the moment will pass and they’ll think they “got … Read more
Two people have asked me questions about reward charts in the last week or so, so that seemed like a reasonable question to answer next. The reason for both of them asking it was because I put “reward charts” — i.e., you do x, you get a sticker on your chart (and often when you … Read more
If I could get everybody in the world to learn one concept about the way they interact with children…well, actually, I have about a bazillion that I might choose from. I’m pretty bad at choosing. But if I could get everybody to learn, like, 15 concepts…I think one of my top choices would have to … Read more