While I was opening my car door, I accidentally scraped my middle fingernail against the dirty car surface for a split second. I could feel in vivid, explosive detail each grain of grit shoving up under my already quite short nail. I’m gagging as I type this. I wiped my hand on my trousers and … Read more
We sort of organically invented a game outside that I thought was pretty great for kids who are what’s sometimes called “destructive”, or who are wanting to take things apart, knock towers over, break things, etc. The game basically consisted of my daughter (4) and me writing and drawing with chalk on the house, the … Read more
(descriptions of the images throughout this post are all contained at the end so that they tell one coherent narrative :)) It might, or it might not, surprise you to learn that I am very rarely a “set up play activities for my kid” type of parent. I like to set out a new, novel … Read more
When some kids come to me, they don’t know how to break outside of the school model. They aren’t sure what to explore, with the freedom to explore whatever they want. They aren’t sure what to create, given access to loads of art materials and free time and space to do it. They aren’t accustomed … Read more
My son was feeling a little bit “out of whack” (that’s usually the least-jargony way I can describe the word “dysregulated”). He was picking at everyone in the family, emotionally, verbally. He pushed his sister, who was watching a show, far enough for her to lash out at him physically, to hit him and push … Read more
Most of us who are trying to work in a way that is aligned with our values have so many moments of doubt. Are we actually doing a “skilled intervention” we are billing for? Is the work we are doing truly making an impact on the child’s life? Are we inadvertently causing harm? Is … Read more
This post is a transcript for a webinar. The webinar/video can be found here. *** In a lot of parenting spaces that I see on the internet, I hear the word “regulate” used as if it is a fancy way to say “calm down”. Dysregulation is sometimes used as a synonym for “grumpiness” or “sadness”, … Read more
As more and more parents, caregivers, and adults start undertaking the work of helping the next generation of children feel safe to express their feelings rather than repeat unhealthy habits from the past, it can be hard knowing where to begin or which way is up. Co-regulation, self-regulation, interoception, what do these words mean? What … Read more
“I want you to build a tower,” I say. You agree, and you stand up to go get the bucket of blocks off the shelf. I shake my head sternly. “No. Did I tell you you could get up? Sit down. Build a tower.” You look confused. You point over at the bucket of blocks. … Read more
