This little piece of art by Lynda Barry stopped me in my tracks the first time I saw it: It’s so true! And it’s also true that it’s easy to forget as adults and classify play as “fun” (and from there it’s a short leap to “unimportant”, I find…) But when I play as an … Read more
(At the time of my writing this, my son was 3 years old.) Yesterday evening was the best meltdown we’ve had in a long time. How’s that for a starter sentence? This is an incredibly long post, but I wanted to detail out exactly how this went and what I was thinking and doing, so … Read more
“Stop crying” was one of the most repeated things I heard in my childhood — definitely the most repeated “correction” I ever heard. I was constantly crying too much. And constantly in trouble for it. All parent/teacher conferences were like, “She’s doing great at x, y, and z…but she cries all the time…” The only … Read more
One of the most asked questions that I ever get—both in comment form, and in email form. I finally took the time to really write out a very long post answering it. Q: How can I help my child when they’re already at the crisis point—the point of melting down, hitting, kicking, throwing, etc? Assuming … Read more
On my Facebook page, I asked adults to share something that their child had been doing that was frustrating or upsetting to them. I then invited people in the comments (myself included) to respond, from the perspective of the child…what the child might be thinking or learning or trying or not-trying and how it’s getting … Read more
I shared a post about parents asking “How do I get my child to…” and trying to get away from that language, which isn’t helpful for understanding what is going on for the child that they *can’t* do whatever the expectation is. Someone in the comments wanted to know, “What about a situation like allowing … Read more
At home… “I want Dad.” “I know.” But Dad needed to take a break for a little while, so I’m going to play with you for right now. “I need a Band-Aid.” “I hear you, it hurts!” But a Band-Aid doesn’t actually do anything for your eyeball being itchy. “I want to go downstairs.” “Yeah, … Read more
A few days ago, I was holding one of my children, who was distressed and melting down. We were sitting together on the couch while they sobbed, and then settled down, and then would remind themselves of why they were upset and start sobbing again. Meanwhile, their sibling was playing happily and extravagantly in the … Read more