A really common sensory question that I get is “How can I stop my kid from biting/picking their nails or skin around their nails?” or sometimes even, “How can I stop doing it?” Ever since I was small I have bitten and picked at my nails and the skin around them. My parents tried everything … Read more
A few nights ago, one of my children had a complete and total meltdown. Screaming. Crying. Yelling for their dad, who was not available, working from home in the closed office. (Dad is the stay-at-home parent during the days, and the highly preferred parent in my family!) Wringing their hands, clenching them into fists, yelling … Read more
“My child won’t play without being destructive. He is extremely smart, but he bounces off the walls and is destructive. We try redirecting him. We try positive reinforcement. We try using incentives. We use time-outs. We’ve tried everything,” a parent asked me recently. First off — this is a great example of how using precision … Read more
I still catch myself in these ways of thinking. I still catch myself thinking old thoughts with my kids. “If I get playful right now, he’s going to learn to be ‘difficult’ whenever he wants me to play with him.” “If I don’t make her regret doing that, then she’s going to end up doing … Read more
There are a lot of ideas that are popular right now, many of which get lumped under the header of “attachment parenting”, which suggest (either directly or indirectly) that babies and toddlers and children are, or ought to be, fragile and clingy and needy and desperate for your attention every second of every day. And … Read more
Two people have asked me questions about reward charts in the last week or so, so that seemed like a reasonable question to answer next. The reason for both of them asking it was because I put “reward charts” — i.e., you do x, you get a sticker on your chart (and often when you … Read more
If I could get everybody in the world to learn one concept about the way they interact with children…well, actually, I have about a bazillion that I might choose from. I’m pretty bad at choosing. But if I could get everybody to learn, like, 15 concepts…I think one of my top choices would have to … Read more
On my recent post about children being developmentally ready for games with winning and losing, somebody asked me if the same information applied to video games, which was a great question. I think the umbrella term “video games” is pretty huge, and that sometimes makes it really hard to talk about what we’re talking about. … Read more
A few days ago, I was holding one of my children, who was distressed and melting down. We were sitting together on the couch while they sobbed, and then settled down, and then would remind themselves of why they were upset and start sobbing again. Meanwhile, their sibling was playing happily and extravagantly in the … Read more
To speak in very general terms of averages — because that’s all I can talk about, is average child development, not your kid’s specific child development — 5-6 is when children start to really become aware of winning and losing, but they still can’t handle it well yet. This is the age of racing ✨everywhere✨, … Read more