A few days ago, I was holding one of my children, who was distressed and melting down. We were sitting together on the couch while they sobbed, and then settled down, and then would remind themselves of why they were upset and start sobbing again. Meanwhile, their sibling was playing happily and extravagantly in the … Read more
While going through old posts, I found a great exchange in the comments that now I’m turning into its own post… Q: It’s important to me as a parent to let my child play freely and explore and learn through playing. However, their older sibling feels like they need to “teach” them how to do … Read more
PSA: Everything is “sensory”! (And, again, like I mentioned yesterday…”sensory” is actually an adjective, not a noun…that’s me being pedantic, but it is something that really indicates to me whether I’m talking to somebody who knows what they mean and what they’re talking about, versus somebody who’s trying to communicate in a jargon that they … Read more
There is no need to borrow worry from the future. And that’s exactly what this kind of thinking is: it’s borrowing worry. 5 year olds are not just future adults. They are also present 5 year olds. And they need time to be 5. I tend to talk in generalities when it comes to the … Read more
To speak in very general terms of averages — because that’s all I can talk about, is average child development, not your kid’s specific child development — 5-6 is when children start to really become aware of winning and losing, but they still can’t handle it well yet. This is the age of racing ✨everywhere✨, … Read more
“Sometimes, my son asks me a question. If I tell him I don’t know the answer—and I truly don’t know the answer—he’ll get mad and protest, ‘you DO know!’ How do I explain to him that I really don’t? How do I make him understand?” This is one of those instances where parents commonly think … Read more
I read a post in one of my favorite facebook groups the other day that made something so incredibly clear to me, that I sometimes struggle to put into words clearly enough for other parents and professionals to understand. So, I’m hoping to share that with you. (The group is called The B Team, run … Read more
If a child called “oppositionally defiant” could label the adults in their life, what kinds of things might they call them? Needlessly antagonistic? Endlessly demanding? Perhaps their adults themselves would receive the diagnosis of ODD — Overly Dictatorial Disorder. What about a child called “pathologically demand avoidant”? What might they call their adults — the … Read more
PSA: Everyone is “sensory”. 😊 (A second, more pedantic, more pet-peevy PSA: “sensory” is an adjective, not a noun!) Everyone in the world has a sensory system. Everyone interacts with the world around them through that sensory system. When people say a kid is “sensory”, they usually mean it as shorthand for “sensory-seeking”. But it’s … Read more
When you start to understand how thin — or nonexistent! — the dividing line is between “playing” and “learning/growing”, suddenly so much more of what children do makes sense. And suddenly so much more of when adults do/don’t choose to correct them about it seems…totally nonsensical or arbitrary, from a child’s point of view. My … Read more