“Sometimes, my son asks me a question. If I tell him I don’t know the answer—and I truly don’t know the answer—he’ll get mad and protest, ‘you DO know!’ How do I explain to him that I really don’t? How do I make him understand?” This is one of those instances where parents commonly think … Read more
If a child called “oppositionally defiant” could label the adults in their life, what kinds of things might they call them? Needlessly antagonistic? Endlessly demanding? Perhaps their adults themselves would receive the diagnosis of ODD — Overly Dictatorial Disorder. What about a child called “pathologically demand avoidant”? What might they call their adults — the … Read more
PSA: Everyone is “sensory”. 😊 (A second, more pedantic, more pet-peevy PSA: “sensory” is an adjective, not a noun!) Everyone in the world has a sensory system. Everyone interacts with the world around them through that sensory system. When people say a kid is “sensory”, they usually mean it as shorthand for “sensory-seeking”. But it’s … Read more
When you start to understand how thin — or nonexistent! — the dividing line is between “playing” and “learning/growing”, suddenly so much more of what children do makes sense. And suddenly so much more of when adults do/don’t choose to correct them about it seems…totally nonsensical or arbitrary, from a child’s point of view. My … Read more
Imagine three scenarios. You’re holding your child on your lap. Your child is sobbing and screaming at the top of their lungs, curled up against you. In one scenario, they have just tripped, fallen, and banged their head on the floor. In a second scenario, their block tower has just fallen over. In a third, … Read more
Another play invitation set-up from a recent weekend… Okay, so this is a little “extra” as far as I usually go with setting up play for my kids, but I was intrigued by the idea. You add a drop of food coloring to milk, toast some white bread, set out some paintbrushes, and let the … Read more
I see children on my school OT caseload who are three, and four, and five, and six. They are behaving in all sorts of inconvenient ways for traditional schooling. They touch things when they pass by them in the hallways. They stand up from chairs and move around the room, or they fall out of … Read more
Kids need room to play, unimpeded and unhelped, on materials that are at their level and above their level and below their level of ability to climb and interact with. They interact with things at their level and below their level to explore mastery. Their body learns what it has already learned, and reinforces and … Read more
This is what goes through my head when I decide if I need to say “no” to something. (…on a good day, on a regulated day, when I’m parenting consciously…not just responding out of habit) The first three items are usually easy to tell at a glance. I don’t usually spend a lot of time … Read more
Inspired by Busy Toddler’s “Playing Preschool” — but a way more informal version of it — I sat down with the book “Ten Apples Up On Top” from the library and began reading. I didn’t call anyone over to the rug or make them pay attention to what I was doing. I read it all the … Read more